Saturday, November 15, 2008

Andy Rooney, November, and other stray thoughts

In case you missed it on 60 Minutes, this is what Andy Rooney thinks about women over 40:


As I grow in age, I value women over 40 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why:

A woman over 40 will never wake you in the middle of the night and ask, 'What are you thinking?' She doesn't care what you think. If a woman over 40 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do, and it's usually more interesting. Women over 40 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you if they think they can get away with it. Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it's like to be unappreciated. Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 40. Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 40 is far sexier than her younger counterpart. Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off if you are a jerk or if you are acting like one. You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her. Yes, we praise women over 40 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed, hot woman over 40, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year old waitress. Ladies, I apologize.

For all those men who say, 'Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?', here's an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage. Why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!
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You tell 'em, Andy. Thanks, Katrina - I missed that one. I don't usually watch 60 Minutes - if I'm in front of the TV at all, it's either cartoons, food, or football.
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Everything the word "November" conjures up, we had today. Except sleet - somehow that missed us. But the dreary gray (grey?) raining yucky...all that we had. In spades.

I spent the majority of the day in bed. No, not sick. But I seem to be recuperating...I'm not even sure what from (ignore that nasty sentence structure, please - bear with me, here.) This has been one heck of a year - off the charts, stress-wise - and yes, there *are* charts for that sort of thing. Here's one: http://www.macses.ucsf.edu/Research/Psychosocial/notebook/PSS10.html
here's another one:
http://www.peacefulplace.com.au/cgi-bin/stresstester/stresstest.cgi?stresstest

That one gave me a "category 5" stress measure - chance of serious illness within the next two years = 90% Category 5, like the Finger of God for tornadoes. Yeesh.

Great. Just great. *That* didn't add to the ol' stress measurement, now did it?

But reading about stress ( for everything you ever wanted to know about stress: http://www.macses.ucsf.edu/Research/Psychosocial/notebook/stress.html )
doesn't help us much. Neither does the advice to "meditate" (you have to say it with an Indian accent.)

I've just been sleeping - 10, 12 hours a day - soaking in the tub, taking tons of supplements, trying to lay off the sugar, wheat, alcohol and other baddies, and generally avoiding life whenever possible. I hang mostly with my dogs and cats - husband has a biological rhythm that is 180 degrees off mine - he's just getting up now, right as I'm getting ready for bed. But that's okay. I've been reading for pleasure, too; not even trying to learn anything, and usually I only read fiction during the summer.

And slowly, ever so slowly, with many "two steps forward, one step back", I seem to be recovering my balance. I do trust the process, and myself. And today is just the sort of day to lay low, stay warm, and...recover.


(and it didn't help my stress levels that I had to edit this three times - make it four times - to get those links to function!)

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I could clearly hear Depok in that one.