Try.

I've been thinking about trying. Not trying anything in particular, just trying, as a concept. And I think it's not all it's cracked up to be.

"There is no try. Only do or not do."

I was so sure it was Lao Tzu, or maybe the Buddha. But no. My favorite Sweet Potato Queen informed me that it was, in fact, Yoda. So much for that college minor in philosophy.

But the little dude was right. "Try" doesn't exist - the only thing that's real is the result, is whether or not one performs whatever task. No one bases their activities on your "try" - they need to know if you do or don't do the thing. And generally speaking, they'd be happier if you were up front with them.

You'll "try" to be there by noon - no, that's not okay. That means you'll show up if it's convenient for you, doesn't put you out too much, and you don't run into traffic. Can you be there by noon? Good. Then make it happen. Not sure, or don't think you can? Fine. How about 12:15, then, or 12:30? The point is to decide, commit, and make it happen.

"Try" gives us an automatic out, an opportunity to cop out on whatever we were doing or offering to do. "Try" means that we have real doubt as to whether or not we'll be willing or able to pull off whatever it is, from losing weight to showing up on time to meeting financial goals. It gives us built in weasel room, and I think that makes us sloppy about commitment. We need to define what it is that we're willing to do, then commit to doing that, and follow through with integrity. Not willing to do the task at all? No problem - be honest with yourself and with others and say that.

"Try" can also take away from us the satisfaction of having completed something - if you don't define what it is you're going to do, how do you know if you've done it? "I'll try to get as much done as I can". What does that mean? Bupkis. Everything's in there, from doing absolutely nothing (say it again) to completing the work. How much better it would be to say you'd work for an hour or a page or a room or whatever, then simply do that much. Then, when you've finished the amount to which you committed , you know that you've met your goal honestly and honorably. If you want to do another hour or room or page, then you can reset the intention and new goal.

Maybe it comes down to a combination of "know thyself" and basic integrity. In each situation, we need to figure out how much, if any, we want to commit to, which means that we know we have the time, willingness and ability to perform the task. Then, state what we want to commit to, which includes "nothing" if time, ability or willingness are lacking, and follow through (that's the integrity part.)

"I'm gonna lose thirty pounds this month!" Come on, you know that's not going to happen. And "lose as much as possible" is a cop out. Decide. Ten? Good. You know you can do it. Commit to it. Then follow through. Lose the ten. You're good to your word. "I'm gonna exercise every day!" Oh sure. Just like the last ten times you said that. How about three times a week? If that feels okay, commit to it, then do it. "I won't go to bed til it's done!" then you sneak off and sack out. No honesty or integrity there. Figure out how much you can and will do, name it, do it.

You can be wrong, if it's an honest mistake - an emergency or a genuine misassessment of a situation or of your own abilities. It happens, and that's one of the ways we learn about ourselves. One caveat: don't intentionally lowball yourself, committing to an absurdly small amount in order to succeed easily. Your integrity knows when it's being undermined.

So here's the challenge: eliminate the word "try" from your speech for a week or even just a day. (Did you just say "Okay, I'll try"? I did, when I first thought about this.) I've been working at this on and off for a week now, and it's made a genuine difference. I now think before I speak (what a concept, huh?), then assess the situation, make a determination, commit to it, and follow through, whether I feel like it or not. It's been a real lesson, in many ways, but absolutely worth the time and effort.

If you want, let me know how it works for you. Maybe we can start something.